Confessions of a Car Nut

by Larry Lefkowitz

I have been a car nut all my life, loving the machines and lusting after them; studying them, and learning what I could learn about them. I never made a living doing anything with cars, other than freelance testing and writing for several online publications. However, this has never slowed my perpetual love for cars. On my daily commute, I observe all manner and kind of mechanical conveyances, from delivery vans to limousines, and note with interest how they are driven.

It is almost too predictable to identify the kind of drivers who gravitate to certain types of automobiles. It is often a source of daily aggravation to witness the inconsideration, neglect, and stupidity of today's drivers. It is as if they did not have to learn the same traffic laws or take the same driving test I did. In lighter moments, I am amused by the oblivion in which so many drivers, particularly boomers like me, conduct their passage from place to place. I temper my own anguish over traffic stupidity with mental classification of pet peeves.

As I write my own automotive web site, I have a list of pet traffic peeves and invite readers to send in more. However, there are some universal truths about drivers that I shall impart to you, tongue planted loosely in cheek.

1) Drivers aged 45-70 have abandoned the use of turn signals. As modern turn signal levers have taken on multiple functions, I believe old-school folks are now afraid of ejecting themselves through the roof if they use that thing.

2) People who drive SUVs tend to be smallish women who feel safe and commanding in their hulking ecological disasters. The fact that they also feel macho has nothing to do with their preference over the more economical, roomy, and practical minivan.

3) Cadillac owners are bad drivers.

4) If you see a Honda Civic that is at least 5 years old, chances are the driver will be a) on a cell phone; b) chewing gum and/or smoking; c) adorned with a backwards baseball cap; d) bouncing from the kickbox bass-making air waves.

5) People who drive in the left lane for no apparent reason are idiots. With few exceptions, this is a universal truth. Somewhere, these drivers got the idea that the left lane is one of choice rather than purpose. Left lane sitters tend to be our age. What does that say for us?

I could go on, but then too many people would be insulted. I have found that I, a lover of cars, one who thinks of himself as a good driver, am guilty of some of the things for which I have criticized others. For example, my depth perception has eroded to the point that I now check up and down and left and right and over and down and over and over before I pull out onto a highway.

I also have found that I am too easily distracted, which has resulted in a few collisions in recent years -- events for which I would have been highly critical of others. I have had two 2-seater sports cars in the last ten years, and gotten rid of both because I felt too vulnerable. You would think that once would be enough to learn, but twice is ... stupid.

So, I am guilty of some of the same dumb things as my traffic colleagues. On the road though, I do try to be courteous and considerate. I let people in, let them pull out; I wave them on ahead of me and stop well short of the car in front of me; and I signal lane changes. And when someone shows me the same courtesies, I thank them with a wave or a flash of the lights and feel good that I have received some consideration.

I have not noticed a particular pattern of car ownership that goes with courtesy. I guess the human factor is too strong.

Larry Lefkowitz lives in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, near Philadelphia.
He can be reached at: ellefkowitz@yahoo.com .

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