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Everyone knows London.  But not everyone knows how to get around London.  Greg Dobbs does.  He lived there five years.  This is Part I of the two-part "Greg's Guide to London."

First, a cautionary note:  place names in this dispatch may seem confusing, but a map of London will help you find what you need.  However, even on the map, you may notice that sometimes the same street changes names, for example suddenly "Marylebone Street" turns into "Euston Road."  It can be confusing.  I can't help you sort out your confusion, but I can explain the reason for it.  Simply put, London is a collection of boroughs.  Once upon a time, each borough was a separate little village, and each gave its own names to its streets.  When all in London became one, the street names didn't.

Now, a brief explanation of how London is organized.  What we would call "Downtown"--- department stores, theaters (spelled "theatres"), restaurants, hotels--- is known in London as the  "West End."  Actually, it's not London's western end, but that's not your problem.  What we would call the "financial district" is known in London as "The City," which is indeed the old original City of London, dating back before the Romans came.  What this means is, if you say something to somebody about going into "the city," they will take it to mean "The City," meaning the financial district and nothing else.

In "The City," there are two sites of interest.  One is St. Paul's Cathedral, which is not only one of the world's largest, but it's where Charles and Di got married before it all went bad!  If you go, hold tight to your wedding ring.  The other is The Tower of London, which for centuries was the home (and sometimes the prison, and occasionally the site of beheadings) of monarchs.  Back when they occupied The Tower's cold stone rooms, today's relatively new royal residence called Buckingham Palace (which is at the southwest corner of the "West End") was nothing more than a swamp.  Three highlights in The Tower: the Crown Jewels, the room full of torture instruments, and the display of armor from Henry VIII, who was as big as a house with armorsuits to match.

Incidentally, if you're around The Tower at lunchtime, there is an area immediately to the east (on the Thames, which I hope you know is pronounced "TEMS") called St. Katherine's Docks, which is actually a yacht harbor with neat restored buildings and a pretty darn good pub.  

IMPORTANT PUB NOTES: Most commonly consumed is the Ploughman's Lunch, which is a hunk of hard cheddar cheese, chutney, and some pretty good bread.  On the side, order some smoked fish (oh come on, you're in England).  Then, have a pint (or two) of one of the beers that are particularly popular in the British Isles: "Guinness," (which is really best consumed where it's made, in Ireland itself), or "Bitter," which is my favorite.  Have all that, and you're set!!!

Now, three more London sites  that should not be missed, all just below the West End and all within walking distance of each other.  First, visit Parliament, walk all around it, imagine Churchill making his remarkable speeches there, enjoy the incredible complexity of its architecture.  You may want to cross Westminster Bridge to see it from the other (south) side of the river.  Then, across Parliament Square to Westminster Cathedral.  As you gaze at it, imagine it almost jet-black after centuries of coal dust.  That was the color of most of London and it was still the color of Westminster Cathedral just 20 years ago.  Since then it has been cleaned to its original radiant light tones.  Then, walk up Whitehall, duck down Downing Street -- some days still, you can wander right on down close to the Prime Minister's door, Number 10 -- and continue on to Trafalgar Square.  Besides hosting half the world's pigeons, it is a lovely place to sit and watch the world of black cabs and double decker buses roll by.  

Then, turn toward Admiralty Arch, walk through, and promenade along The Mall toward  Buckingham Palace.  Approach the Palace this way and you'll see it the way the Queen does (although she is usually not on  foot).  The buildings along the right side house well-connected royals like the Queen Mother (who, as you may know, was Queen herself until 1952 when Elizabeth's father, the King, died).  Along the left, incidentally, is Green Park, where for the equivalent of about a quarter you can rent a canvas lounge chair and, on the rare occasion that weather permits, sit in the sun feeding the ducks.

Now then, a fun street to walk is Regent Street, which you can reach from Buckingham Palace by making your way along Piccadilly to Piccadilly Circus, then turning north, or from elsewhere by simply starting at Piccadilly Circus.  The Circus itself, incidentally, is no circus at all.  Rather, it is the equivalent of Times Square: the heart of the theater district, with lots of neon.  

All the buildings on Regent Street were designed simultaneously by the great English architect John Nash, and the beautiful columns and balconies all along the street are known as Nash Terraces.  Most of the way along, on the right, is one helluva toy store called Hamley's.  Then, up toward the top of Regent Street, just before Oxford Street (the intersection of which is known as Oxford Circus), is the classiest big store in London, Liberty House (on Regent Street's east side).  It is famous for its linen patterns.  But even if you're not in the market for scarves or tablecloths, go inside to see the store's gorgeous wood paneling.

Another note about shopping:  maybe you've heard about the wonderful and inexpensive sweaters (and the world's softest undergarments) at Marks and Spencers.  True, although with the comparative value of the Dollar against the Pound and the general inflation in Europe, nothing is quite the bargain it used to be.  However, if you want to check it out, turn left (meaning west) on Oxford Street (if you've been walking up Regent Street), and quite a way along on your right, past a lot of other stores, is the main branch of Marks and Spencers, known to locals as "Marks and Sparks."  Funny little story about Marks and Spencers, by the way.  

Back when I lived there, Arab oil barons were moving into London by the gross.  Sure, they were rolling in money, but they weren't immune to bargains either.  So, they flocked every day into Marks and Spencers.  Trouble was, Marks and Spencers was owned by Jews.  The Arabs couldn't exactly head home with M & S labels in their clothing.  So they had them removed--- and in order to keep them happy, every M & S store clerk was required to always have a pen knife at the ready!

Now, two more stores to tell you about, mainly for the food!   One of them,  Fortnam & Mason, is actually on Piccadilly, just west of Piccadilly Circus.  Fortnam's (as locals call it) is just the place for a good English snack in the tearoom, which you reach by passing through the grocery section, which carries groceries like you've never seen before.  However, the best place to go to be fascinated by food is Harrod's, which is in fact a huge department store in Knightsbridge, which is the borough just west of the West End.  Most of the store, inside, is like any other, but don't miss the "Food Halls."  Glimpse every scrumptious display, from chocolate to cheese to smoked salmon, the world's best, bar none!  Far cry from your local supermarket!  Incidentally, if you go to London around Christmastime, don't miss Harrod's at night.  This ornate block-long building is beautifully illuminated.

Speaking of food, two unique places to eat, and the first one is a MUST:   Brown's Hotel, (on Albemarle Street, just above Piccadilly).  You go to Brown's in the afternoon for High Tea.  (Gentlemen need coats.)  Tea ... and scones ... and sandwiches... all around an elegant coffee table, seated on soft couches and wingback chairs.  There once was a waiter there who cleared his tables by magically whisking the linen cloth off the table  beneath the china and sterling silver, leaving everything atop it intact.

The other was our favorite place for Fish & Chips, which you shouldn't go without:  The Sea Shell, just off Lisson Grove which is just above Marylebone (pronounced Mahr-leh-bahn) Road, just north of the West End.  Go in a taxi; the driver will know the place.  (Note this: there will be a line out front.  That's for "take out."  You want the restaurant itself, around the corner.)

Speaking of taxis, they're easy to use.  Contrary to Paris for example, you can flag down a London cab on the street.  They'll even do U-Turns to get to you, and of course you can climb in without even bending over.  Also, for getting around London, the subway  -- a.k.a. "The Tube" -- is easy to use.

Two other suggestions for getting around to see the tourist spots which are worth seeing, if only to give you the lay of the land: there are several tourist double-decker buses that make the rounds.  Catch them on the streets right around Piccadilly Circus.  And, there are tour boats along the Thames.  Catch them on the river quay, on the north side of the river, just the other side of Westminster Bridge from the Houses of Parliament.

And finally, in London, one more thing to do if you're there on a Sunday morning :  Go to Hyde Park Speakers' Corner, at the northeast corner of Hyde Park, which is at the northwest corner of the West End, immediately south of Marble Arch.  What do they do there?  They speak.  Everyone.  About everything.


AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED, this is Part I.  Part II is about more of Britain.  Watch for it!

 

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